Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The Spelling Megachilidae

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A Megachilidae is a type of bee.

This week, I was able to watch a small portion of the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee on ESPN. Just like Pro Basketball, Pro Baseball and other things televised on ESPN, most Americans aren't any good at spelling. The typical American is not able to spell Scripps (although to be fair, that's not an actual word, but a surname that a company was named after). Many Americans, however, can spell ESPN.

The show started with Tom Bergeron (who has a name most Americans can't spell) onstage and he was presented with a difficult word to spell. He pretended to have trouble spelling the word, and asked for help with the word, and the dozen finalists came onstage. Just like when the contestants have to spell their word, the word that Tom Bergeron had to spell was shown onscreen. Since I was watching this in the break room at work, Closed Caption was on, and the dude that did the captioning didn't know how to spell the word that Bergeron didn't know.

I used to be a decent speller, but now that I can rely on a wavy red underline for anything I type wrong, I suspect I have lost my edge. If I were to appear in the Spelling Bee, this is how I suspect it would play out:

The first contestant is up. I will be up second.
Me, thinking to myself: I can do this. I know I can do this.
Moderator: Your word is TONSILS.
First Contestant: TONSILS. T - O - N - S - I - L - S. TONSILS.
Moderator: Correct.
Audience claps. First contestant sits down.
Me, Thinking to myself: See! This is easy. I can do this. It's my turn.
Moderator: Next up is Brent Moore
Me: Yo, Wazzup?
Moderator: Your word is Honorificabilitudinitatibus.
Me, thinking to myself: DRAT!
Me:
Me: [dramatic pause.]
Me:
Me: [audible sighing.]
Me:
Me: Uh, can you use that word in a sentence?
Moderator: You don't know how to spell Honorificabilitudinitatibus.
Me: Can I have the origin of the word?
Moderator: I think an Intern made it up.
Me: Can I buy a vowel?
Moderator: No.
Me: Then, can I have a new word?
Moderator: Sure, your new word is Occurrence.
Me: O - C - C - U - R - A - N - C - E
Loud Buzzer: Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Me: DRAT!