Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

WooHoo! Flugtag

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Last weekend in Downtown Nashville at Riverfront Park was the frenzied Red Bull Flugtag. If you were one of the approx. 6 billion people on the planet who wasn't there, here's the premise. A couple dozen teams from around the country prepared not-ready-for-primetime flying crafts that usually wouldn't fly. The craft couldn't be motorized, so they usually consisted of large paper-mache wings and four guys who would push it off the 60ft. tall ramp really, really fast. They measured, in feet, how far the craft, and the pilot would go before dumping into the Cumberland Cocktail. (usually, this was about 10 feet.)

Here's a sample flugtag craft, based on the Tennessee Titans mascot, T-Rac.
Obligatory Flugtag picture
The pilot is the dude on top with the bullhorn. The four guys who would push it off the 60ft. tall ramp really, really fast are wearing cheerleader outfits and afros. This one went about 20 feet.

This is the first time I have ever been able to describe a picture with the words: "paper raccoon tongue flapping in the wind"

For the worst and most expensive view of the event, you could have ridden the General Jackson showboat which is treading water in the background.

Unfortunately, from where I was sitting I couldn't get many good photos, and I officially declare jealousy for the people who took these pictures: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve

The alltime flugtag record was set at the Nashville event as he went about 155 feet beating the previous record by about 70 feet. This Guy was the record setter because he essentially put a hang glider on top of a banjo. Here's the official video of it on YouTube.

After each flight (or lack thereof) people in the crowd gave scores.
This picture gets a 2

It was hot. Very Hot. except for this person on 1st ave.
The second best seat

It wasn't the best seat, but it was the most original seat:
The best seat for the Nashville Flugtag
I'm not sure what this guy is sitting on but it's supposed to be art. It looks like a 15 ft tall gear, and I bet Nashville taxpayers paid something like $200,000 for it.

Finally, when was the last time you saw the U.S. Coast Guard deployed in Nashville?
The U.S. Coast guard protecting Nashville's shore
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Cincinnati Chili

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I recently had a chance to eat a regional delicacy that I've never been able to sample before. There are other American regional foods that are common enough that you can find it somewhere in every major city, like Chicago Deep-dish pizza, Philly cheesesteaks and New Orleans Jambalaya. However, Unless you are near Cincinnati, you don't really have the opportunity to try Cincinnati Chili. Of all of the restaurants that specialize in this, the most famous one is Skyline Chili. It seemed as if there was one of these on every block.

Typical Skyline Chili sign

The signature dish is the Three Way. The chili isn't a hot spicy Texas chili, but instead more of a sweet chili flavor. I thought it had a nutmeg flavor, although many people thinks it tastes like cinnamon or chocolate. The chili is served on a bed of spaghetti, which you can barely see in the picture below. The most obvious feature is the third ingredient, which is the mountain of cheese. It comes with a side of oyster crackers.

Skyline Chili 4-way

Pictured above is actually four-way, with diced onions. It can also be ordered five-way with red beans. I liked it, but my wife didn't care for it too much.

Now, who can make me an egg cream?

for more information, visit your local library or consult this wikipedia article.
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Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Chattanooga Choo-Choo of Death!

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The Chattanooga Choo-Choo of Death!

In downtown Chattanooga, TN, located inside the northern terminal for the free electric shuttle, known as CARTA, is a series of 7 3-D art / paintings focusing on local attractions. This image represents the famed Chattanooga choo-choo. I am only kidding about the "of death!" part because the spikes were added to prevent birds from perching there.
Here are links to all seven images, if you want to see the others.
Lookout Mountain
Rock City
Ruby Falls
Incline Railway
Chattanooga Choo-Choo
Bluff View Arts District
The Electric Shuttle

Lookout Mountain 3D art Rock City 3D art
Ruby Falls 3D art Incline Railway 3D art Electric Shuttle of Death! Bluff View art District in 3D

Friday, June 08, 2007

Danger!

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Taking out the trash can be difficult. At my work everyday, everybody is responsible for discarding of their own trash. Up until this week, one person would get a big bag and all of us put our smaller bags of trash in the one big bag of trash, and that one big bag of trash was taken to the trash compactor.

It must be unfair that one person has to take out all the trash in one big bag. Starting this week, now everyone has to take their own small bag of trash to the compactor. However, Before we can put trash in the compactor, we had to undergo a compactor training class. Before I took the class, I surmised that the class would consist of the following three rules:

1) If living is important to you*, don't get in the trash compactor.
2) Before starting the trash compactor, verify there aren't any persons who ignored rule 1.
3) Press the compactors start button to start the compactor. There is also a stop button.

*This rule does not apply to Chuck Norris.

Unfortunately, a year or two ago, at the Dell manufacturing plant in Lebanon, one person ignored step 1 while someone else ignored step 2. So, I can see why they would have to train us on this. I am now Trash Compactor certified. Should I scan the badge and put it here? Better yet, should I put the certification on my resume?

By an amazing scheduling coincidence, I had to take a second safety training class on the same day, this one in chemical safety is mandated by Tennessee's OSHA. We don't actually handle hazardous chemicals, but if we did, we'd know how to avoid them. Part of the class was to make us aware of what the NFPA diagrams mean, such as this one:

After this training, it was most appropriate that some of my co-workers were experimenting with Jelly Belly's new line of Bertie Bott's Jelly Beans, which I would think is more appropriate for hazing than to give to friends, But there were willing participants. Flavors included Bacon, Sausage, Black Pepper, Sardine, Dirt, earthworm, soap, earwax, and the most avoided flavor of all in the box: Rotten egg.

<-- Rotten Egg.

So, literally, the last one out was a rotten egg.

I can't end this blog with such a bad pun. So, I will end it with two. Last weekend as my wife and I were driving backroads, we drove past a barn where most of it, about 3/4 of it had collapsed leaving one fourth of the barn standing. I told my wife that they raise quarter horses in there.
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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Snail and Turtle

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Greetings from the land of Cell Phone repair. I love the smell of soldering irons in the morning.
***
Q: What did the Snail say while riding on the Turtle's back?
A: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
***
With my back problem, I can't lean forward and reach for something. In the back of our fridge, I see some carrots that have progressed into their brown liquid state.
***
Fun photo of the week:
Impressed by the 100 foot drop
This picture was taken at Ozone Falls, which is in Cumberland County, Tn. From the car, it is a 5 minute walk to the edge of the falls, which plunges 110 feet into the gorge below. These tourists were passing through and had come from Florida. The lady in green wanted to take a picture of the bottom of the gorge with her digital camera and the lady in red is holding her feel so she doesn't fall. The lady in brown is waiting to catch the lady in red if she starts to fall. The guy on the right is smart enough to avoid the madness. By the way, the top of the waterfall is to the right of the three ladies.
***
I've forgotten how to ride a bicycle.
***
This past weekend, for the first time I saw alcoholic energy drinks. I am not sure what anyone would plan to accomplish while drinking one, but I am sure that effect would be neutralized by other ingredients. One exception: People who just watched a kung fu movie titled something like "The legend of the Drunken Boxing Master."
***
Q: What did the Government Employee say while waiting to receive Insurance benefits?
A: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
***
In July, I'll be hosting a seminar on pyramid schemes. Tickets will cost $25. For every paying friend you bring, I'll give you a $5 referral fee. The same offer applies to their friends.
***

***
Q: How does a resident of Prague tell their spouse that their latest chess move has won the match?
A: Czech Mate!
***
Q: What did the DMV worker say when waiting in line at the post office?
A: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Sunday, June 03, 2007

Even more less factual Chuck Norris facts

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Even more less factual more absurd less believable Chuck Norris facts!!!

NASA has a contingency plan for a large destructive comet headed towards Earth: Chuck Norris.

On Nickelodian in the 80's, Chuck Norris could do that on television.

Japanese filmmakers wanted to make Godzilla Vs. Chuck Norris but couldn't think of a way to script Godzilla lasting through the opening credits.

Chuck Norris assimilated the Borg.

"Who Roundhouse Kicked J.R.?" would not have made for a suspenseful cliffhanger on Dallas.

Chuck Norris was personally saddened by Hurricane Katrina. That's why there were so few hurricanes in 2006.

Chuck Norris has already won re-election to be the U.S. President for a second term in 2012. Again, he was both party's nominee.

Chuck Norris can stop the spread of Kudzu.

Answer: 42. Question: Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris could go without Vitamin C and not develop scurvy.

In English class, Chuck Norris was allowed to end a sentence with a preposition.

Judge Judy allows backtalk from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can stick to Teflon.

The mistake of the original Tacoma Narrows Bridge could have been avoided using Chuck Norris beard hair.

The Blarney Stone wants to kiss Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can eat pop rocks and soda at the same time without exploding.

The Air Force base near Roswell, NM is really working on super-secret Chuck Norris-powered aircraft.

Dr. Phil thinks everything is fine with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can hit the gyroball.

The U.S. Congress debated using Chuck Norris to protect the U.S.-Mexico border in lieu of a 1,951 mile fence, but it was eventually decided that he is too valuable to be used as that purpose.

Cows welcome tipping from Chuck Norris.

The fine print of your medical insurance states that you are not covered by Chuck Norris related injuries.

Chuck Norris can eat 50 saltines in a minute.

Chuck Norris could jump the shark, but still be just as popular. Chuck Norris has not and will not jump the shark, but will eat the shark.

In the Princess Bride, Vizzini could conceive of Chuck Norris.

The most effective pop-up blocker for your web browser is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can star in the movie Sidekicks and not be considered a sellout.