Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A possible reason why there might be fewer posts forthcoming

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My New Job started today. This is my new badge. I hate this photo; it makes my Driver's License look good.

My New ID Badge!

I will be repairing the broken cell phones of the world. After one day, I'm not good at it yet - but I'm not expected to be proficient yet. Discussion topic: The strangest ways that people have broken their cell phones. 1) A giraffe ate it. 2) a guy tried to call his buddy while skydiving.

I have to solder some. I'm not very good at that yet either - but at least I can spell it and I didn't burn myself.

My new hire kit identified all the designated smoking areas at the corporate headquarters and not at our building. I suppose if I get a couple of promotions and start a nasty habit, that will become useful to me.
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dysfunctional Thanksgiving wishes

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Today, I provide a couple of dysfunctional wishes:

Thanksgiving fake greeting 1

This next one is for any wannabe valley girls out there:

Thanksgiving fake greeting #2

I got a new job today. It starts on Monday. I won't know until then whether or not I should be thankful for it.

Brent
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Friday, November 17, 2006

Introducing Our newest sponsor

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Occam's Razors

Available at fine and coarse department stores everywhere!
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wednesday's Recommended Reading

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Every year in college, there was a day after classes finished before Final Exams started called Study Day, or Dead Day. Instead of studying, members of the drama department would put on a "24 hour" play. The drama professor would gather 5 non-related quotes, and the cast members had 24 hours to write a script about anything but had to incorporate those 5 quotes, plus rehearse, find props, etc. and then present the play.

I've never been an actor, but I tried a similar premise, and wrote a 24-hour short story. (nobody gave me quotes to incorporate. That's the 1 hour story and I may put up the video of that someday.)

The story is titled Don't Try This at Home. Here's the opening:


James Merloni, 28, and Lorraine Stocker, 26, had been happily dating for 19 months. For Valentines Day, James rented the biggest billboard on Main Street, which said, "Lorraine, Will you marry me? - James." The ecstatic Lorraine called James the moment she saw it.

They got married at the Happy Hills Chapel of Peace and Joy and Love and Matrimony. They honeymooned on the island of Oahu. He was almost stung by a jellyfish. She almost choked on a crab cake. Years later, they could look back and laugh.

James became a successful financial planner. Lorraine worked as an athletic trainer until she gave birth to three adorable children, Jimmy Jr., Louie and Melody. He retired at age 50 as a millionaire. They watched as their children attended Harvard, Yale and the New York Conservatory of Music. When they were 60, they had a total of seven grandchildren. James Merloni and the former Lorraine Stocker grew old together, and they were happy.

This story is not about them.

To read the Entire Story (about 10 minutes long) - CLICK HERE.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What do Oscar the Grouch and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

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They both started out a reddish-brown copper color and turned green over the years.

For my wife's birthday, she wanted the new classic Sesame Street DVD, and in season 1, this was Oscar's look. It only took a year for his color to change. The Statue of Liberty was erected in 1886 and took a while for the copper to turn green. Since color photography wasn't around then, I guess there are no pictures depicting this.

***

On a related note, I made this Happy Birthday pic to post for Myspacers:

Oscar Birthday greeting

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Monday, November 13, 2006

1968 Nashville Map

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I am enough of a roadfan to wonder what the streets of Nashville were like a few decades ago. I recently bought a 1968 Nashville Map and scanned it. If this kind of thing interests you, you can see it too.

1968 Nashville Map BACK1968 Nashville Road Map

If you click on the title of this post, it will take you to the original size version of the map, but it is a really large picture and might take a long time to download.

The map has a front and a back. Most of Nashville is on the front side, but a portion of west Nashville is on the back and had to be a separate scan into a separate image.

My house was built in the 1960's, so my street is on the map, but a lot of streets near ours had apparently not been developed yet.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Worst Hotel I've Ever Stayed in

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There was a time earlier this year where I was unemployed. However, that didn't stop the wife and I from wanting to go on a 2-day/1-night mini-vacation. After sifting through several state parks that were all within a 5-hour drive, we settled on Cumberland Falls, as that day would fall on the right day to see the famed "Cumberland Falls Moonbow." While we saw the falls, we missed out on the moonbow because it was too cloudy. (Side note: For my Nashville buddies, Cumberland Falls is on the Cumberland River, but it's way upstream where it's actually pretty.)

Cumberland falls

We had a very tight budget, and couldn't afford one of those expensive hotels - you know, like a Days Inn or a Motel 6. Now, I'm the kinda guy that likes to plan everything - not necessarily planning how we spend every minute, but have every driving exit number and turn memorized and have all of the details of the night's stay planned. My wife on the other hand while growing up would go on trips with her family where they would just pick a random mom-and-pop motel along the country highway. These are the ones that are not part of a chain, are clean, only cost $25 and the curtains and neon sign are 50 years old. Something like this:

Scenic Motel sign - Pigeon Forge, TN

So, we were driving the old highways of Kentucky, and it was late. We couldn't afford the Holiday Inn and the Super 8 located at the interstate exit. On into town, we found this:

Vacancy

The selling points of this motel are the direct dial phones and the color TVs! I suppose for $35, I can't ask for too much. Let's look at the highlights:

(You can click on any picture in this blog to enlarge.)

There's a hole in my towel

This towel has a substantial hole in it. There's also a small brown stain at the bottom. Also, I like the drinking cups. There are 21 Shoney's Inns nationwide and this isn't one of them. (And, there isn't one anywhere else in Kentucky, either.)

Study on different shades of color

There are many strange colors to be found here. The first thing I notice is the pink tile around the soapdish, which you don't see anywhere else. The door frame needs paint, The inside and outside of the tub could use a good cleaning. There's a dead bug on the floor (and a few spiders were camera shy and hid behind the toilet). Personally, I like the changing color of the yellowing vinyl floor. It's tough to see but there's a bucket to catch the water dripping from the intake pipe to the toilet.

furniture

There isn't too much to see here, but I like the warped cushion. The wall could use paint, and there is missing wood on the right.

Air freshener

Now, this is the icing on the cake. You have got to love the car air freshener taking on the entire room. (Strawberry!) The curtain rod hasn't fallen off yet, but it's holding the spider web in place (or vice-versa). I would describe that curtain color as "Sun-dried Mustard" but at least it matches the bathroom floor.

All-in-all, it wasn't a complete dump. There weren't any roaches that were so big that you could see their facial expressions. I had a night's sleep and that's what I paid for. My wife insists that they are usually not this bad, and we have tried it again with better results. I suppose this place was still better that the kind of motel that you rent in increments smaller than an evening.

I went to get my driver's license renewed today...

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Go ahead and click on my picture.  You have absolutely no reason to.

...and nothing interesting happened.
...and I only had to wait for five minutes.

Government offices aren't supposed to be this efficient. I was hoping for a comedy goldmine.

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

And the Winner is...

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The winner of the Dumbest Crayon Color goes to...


Dumbest name for a crayon

The specific shade of blue in this crayon is "blue ribbon." They also had Ribilicious.

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I went to vote today.

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I went to vote today.



I had to wait in line for 45 minutes.
There were only 7 people in line in front of me. The voting process was especially lengthy this year.

They have those new fancy electronic voting machines that look like the podium the contestants stand behind on Jeopardy! However, I think the delay was because the first screen posed this question:
One train leaves Los Angeles at 15mph heading for New York. Another train leaves from New York at 20mph heading for Los Angeles on the same track. If a bird, flying at 25mph, leaves from Los Angeles at the same time as the train and flies back and forth between the two trains until they collide, how far will the bird have traveled?
After you get that right, then you could vote for Governor. If you read past the democrat and republican candidates, there was a guy named Twofeathers and a lady named Stout Marijuana.[Insert Libertarian joke here.]

Then, we had a couple of pages of State amendments and then the U.S. Senate. Thankfully, I got that out of the way. I think Bob Corker had me on speed dial.

Next up was the U.S. House race. I live in the TN 5th district,where the democrat has to raise just enough money to pay for his victory celebration. A dozen years ago, there was a republican challenger who ran on one issue-to keep metric measurements out of our lives. He got 100 votes.

Next, we had a page for State Senate and State House. At this point, not only did I forget the candidates names, but I think I forgot my name, too.

Next came the most important question on the ballot: Should the city director of finance hand out the required paperwork to city government officials to prepare the yearly budget in March instead of May? There were about 20 pages of Nashville Davidson County Metropolitan Government Charter Amendments, Including this one which, I am not kidding for once, is 11 paragraphs long.

Once you have chosen to not vote for all of the amendments, and you are ready for your vote to count (assuming your machine wasn't hacked) you have to press three different buttons with the word VOTE simultaneously. Once you do that, you're machine starts beeping because you didn't review all of your selections, first. At that point, the pollworker rolls his eyes and stops by to show you what you did wrong.

After all that, I got a sticker that said "I Voted." I was sad, because I thought I was in the line for government cheese.

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My Only Political Blog of 2006

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The caricaturization of President Bush in political cartoons has gone too far!

orange cartoon

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

Looking through the Classifieds: Job Postings

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SECURITY OFFICER/VIDEO CAMERA MONITORING - Are you looking for a rewarding opportunity with a fast-paced growing company? Look no further! Apply to work as a telescreen operator with Big Brother. Multiple job openings. No experience necessary. The successful candidate will be able to multitask, follow ever-changing instructions as needed, and have no emotion. No paper resumes will be accepted. To apply in person, come at any time to Room 101 for processing.

Job originally posted: 22 years ago. Posting expires: Never.

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